Perceived reality

Yesterday was my first experience with Toastmasters club. It was a very healthy club in JLT and all the members are really awesome in their roles and there was always lesson learnt from everyone by everyone. 

After the actual speakers session ends, There was a session called Table topics where in few spontaneous questions were asked with the participants who wanted to give a try. I also wanted to give a try when the guests were given an opportunity by the Table topic organizer.

The question asked to me was, “What would I have been if NLP was not introduced to me?”!!! (If I remember the words correctly which he used)

Do you see me exclaiming at the end of the question? :) Because that’s how I felt when I was asked about myself. Firstly, I was thinking how this guy even knows about me?? Then realized that he was actively listening to our entire guest’s intro speech(we were more than 13) and he had noted down everyone’s what they do and what they want to improve. So I was little surprised.

Secondly I started feeling little uncomfortable with that question because of my past where I usually don’t want to think much about it after I learnt to handle those situations positively. So when I was to give out the speech, my heart beat was literally high, I started finding words, started thinking whether I had to show that emotional state and express it to the club, and so on… and so it took
some time to think and frame the content, and to specify there was a timer sitting in front of me. :)

With all that happened inside me and in front of me, I started it very confidently, was talking about my past and current career mostly specifying the change it gave me, pointing out the most common issues happen in the corporate industry, and how I am feeling fulfilled with what I do now helping people and how I discovered myself and what all I learnt through NLP, and when the timer was showing red for the end note, I started repeating few points and finished it with the answer of, I would have been a PM in a corporate industry. Lol (Not sure if that was the case exactly) #circle of excellence

What? I would have been a PM?? Is that what NLP just gave me?? No. 

Just after finishing the speech, my mind was filled with lots of self talks.

• I felt this was not the one I wanted to answer to that question and it’s not that which what I wanted to convey!

• Speaking to my coachee one on one and helping them achieve what they really want is easier because of the passion and interest I have in that work, than addressing a group of audience. :)

• Is that right that I pointed out the few common issues about the corporate industry when most of the people sitting in front of me are working in corporate? What would the people working there at high positions think of me? Do they really agree with what I have said or do they think I was very straight to the point?

• What would I do to talk naturally and How better I would have ended the speech with that emotional background related to that question which was running in my mind?

• Finally, I said to myself, dear members, no this was not the one I have it in mind to answer that question. I was talking in very serious note whereas it would have better if I just talked naturally with what was there in mind. And wait, I am coming with betterment in my next speeches.  

After the end of the meeting, I was still in the same mindset and so I couldn’t give sendoff note to the people whom I wanted to say, I was carrying those self-talks with me till I slept.

Today as soon as I got up, those thoughts were still with me, I washed my face where those thoughts are seen clearly but couldn’t wash it from inside. When my husband asked me about what I am going through – I started telling him about what had happened, how better I would have been, how seriously I delivered the speech actually not embarking any emotion to the audience, and on and on…

And my husband while helping me in the kitchen smiled and said, just relax. You know how to handle this; you are helping people having these states of mind. And he also gave his point of view,“Everybody is not perfect every time and in everything, it’s been many years you faced larger audience and this was just a first meeting for you after long time in front of new audience; you went there to improve yourself, to learn to be a better communicator in the forum and you started first step towards it. And regarding what others think about the corporate industry talks, you just talked what you had in mind and nobody is going to think badly about it; it is offence only to talk about politics and religion.“

That gave me little calmness in mind and I realized my potential back. Oh yeah, what’s there to think too much on this? I just brought back my resource state as quick as I do every time when I notice it and all in place from there on. With this state, I ask all those questions again and I get the answers for it and moved to the desired state.

Whatsoever techniques we learn and practice, when something new and first time things come in to our life, I understood how the thoughts just washes out all the mind control and keeps feeding to the self talks and negative feedback. :) #States of mind

I am learning about myself exploring in different areas which makes me to practice consistently for myself what I teach others to do ;)

What do you have in mind by reading this post? Do you also have same kind of experience? How do you manage your state to bring it back to yourself? Share your thoughts here and I would love to hear and help you.