The longest week - 4

August 1. It was early morning and I did not know when I felt asleep last night but it did not last longer as I got up when the breakfast came to my room. My eyes were very heavy and so my head too and then I realized that I cried last night very badly without my knowledge. I went again to bed and tried to sleep. Not trying to withstand the act of sleeping, I got up and talked to some of my friends online.

When we are very much afraid and feel lonely, even a very silly thing happens to others, we think a lot and shout and what else. Same happened to me too, so I thought of seeing a movie than talking to others. I felt very lonely and alone that I wish someone could be there. The movie which I saw was more senti; which I shouldn’t have seen at that time when my mood was totally off. The movie was so touched that I couldn’t stop weeping for a single minute. The movie plan did not work out for me rather increased my pain. The whole day went with no food, no sleep and total darkness and moreover with more fear. I had no mood to eat or rather step out of the bed. Soon, it was night and so I wanted to sleep and to end the day but in vain. Somehow or the other I was not able to sleep and first time I was getting afraid of darkness. I switched on all the lights and slept in bed. The lights are on doesn’t mean that I removed the darkness from the whole world; it was dark outside!

The last day for that weekend; I wished I had 2 more days to sleep. That day also was not so good because so many reasons for which my fear was also one of the reasons, I was sick and totally sick out of all these. I somehow managed to unpack my luggage at least on that day and ordered for food of ease. I was not able to go to office the next day because of my sickness. I need rest but when I think I have to sleep, I was not able to and when I think I have to sleep early, I was not able to.

Started the next day very fresh with cooking but my mind was not fresh and my health too and so was not able to continue the same for the next days. The fear of loneliness and darkness continued for the next days as soon I come to the room in the evening and it was very difficult for me to sleep as well. I wanted to end this longest week and everything. I wanted to stop these afraid and fear.

I am not getting any calls after that day but the night is still there in my mind which made me so down, sick, lonely and afraid of darkness. Though I wanted to end on Aug 7th, the day I decided to post about my longest week, it took 2 more days to end my longest week with no proper sleep and no proper food. 13 days in my longest week!